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Siberian Scramble
'''East Siberia ''This flat, empty, deserted land continues as far as your eyes can see. Icy winds and sub-zero temperatures make you wonder how anyone could survive in this forbidding wasteland. As you slip and slide your way through the icy snow, your eyes are partly dazzled as the snow reflects the sunlight directly into them. Galvatron hits the ground hard, jogging across the tundra to bleed off speed. "Decepticons! That human missile silo and heliport is your target! Capture or destroy it! Let no Autobot dissuade you!" Snapdragon's inert, snoozing form has been quietly strapped to a sled by a small crew of Decepticon gumbies, with the large, dirty Decepticon unaware. A Decepticon shuttle flies overheard, and the gumbies shove the sled out the cargo bay doors. The sled drops rapidly, and impacts hard with the frozen ground... As the dust settles, the filthy form of Snapdragon slowly rises from the crater sunk into the permafrost. And he looks pissed. Green Cyber-Copter sets the Hovercraft down, then transforms into his 'copter mode and lifts away, speeding across the frozen landscape. "Wow...this is how Russia looks in -summer-?!" Galvatron sweeps his cannon across the taiga in a blast which slices through trees and cleaves them to the ground, leaving a clear path from the Decepticon landing site to the old Soviet missile base. If anyone can stop them now, it's the Autobots! Galvatron says, "Onslaught, watch yourself. I will be with you shortly." Snapdragon says, "RAAAAAAARGH!" Snapdragon says, "Who just threw me out of a plane?" Onslaught says, "I am cautious before battle, sir." Whiplash says, "Uh, me, but Galvatron said to, please don't hurt me." Galvatron says, "Put your outrage to good use against the Autobots, Snapdragon. You have an opportunity to be... productive." Compile says, "Enjoy your trip Snappy?" Snapdragon says, "Autobots? Where? I'm going to rip thier arms off and use them to pick my teeth!" Raindance, who had been sleeping in the cassette slot of the Autobot hovercraft pops out, transforming to hover beside Springer. "Well no because its technically spring, genius. I can tell that with my ace investigation powers, and that Grand Slam stole all of Cliffjumper's filthy calendars. Now lets defeat the Decepticons so I can get back to... perusing them..." With several clicks, the tape shudders, mass-shifting to become a blue and grey spaceship Galvatron lowers his cannon to the ground and fires, rocketing up into the air on a purple streak of energy and soaring over the horizon in pursuit of the setting sun! Snapdragon may be big, and he may be ugly, but he's not slow. He takes to the air, and heads in the direction of the old Soviet missile base. His deep red optics gaze across the cold landscape as he looks for targets for unleash his ire, but he'll be sure to save some for the fools who threw him out of the shuttle in the first place. Green Cyber-Copter turns and aligns himself with the missile base. "Raindance, you know those calendars are degrading to femmes and against regulations. When we get back to base, I'm confiscating them. To turn over to Blaster, I mean." He tilts forward, accelerating. "Reports were dead on...Decepticons! I can make out two. Flip you for the big one?" Compile beeping is heard, than a solid tone, "I see Autobots." he states. "Two of them. Springer and that reject Tape, Raindance." Snapdragon says, "Only two? Humph. They'll have to do." Raindance bleeps an angry bleep. "Pah Springer, you know I have no fingers with which to flip you off. Don't be so racist. I'm going to report you to Nightbeat, and he's going to smash your head in with a rusty spoon. I'm taking the girly looking tape, and that's that!" Girly looking tape .... o.0 Who's girly looking? Compile probably heard that and he looks as he points, "I take that ugly thing," pointing to Raindance as he thinks and getting a lock on the tape, takign aim and sends out some fire towards the tape. "He shot at me!" bleeps Raindance angrily as he weaves to the side to avoid Compile's attack. "Stupid tape thing! Do you know why all Decepticon tapes have flat heads? Its because Soundwave designed them so he could put a board on their heads and make a walking table, that's why!" The little jet-thing flares with light, rushing forwards at Compile, and shooting off a bright volley of lasers Snapdragon arrives at the missile site, and lands on the ground with a solid *thump*. He looks around, unsure if they're here to destroy the missile site or defend it... Not that it matters much, as long as he gets a chance to crush a few Autobots while he's here. He spots Springer making his approach, and Snapdragon finally has a chance to unleash some of his pent-up rage at the preceding event. Snapdragon raises one of his purple guns, and fires off a wimpy purple blast. Green Cyber-Copter swerves aside a bit to the other side from Raindance, letting the flame go by between them. It was obviously closer to Raindance and probably wasn't threatening him anyway, but Springer still dodges out of reflex...when he steadies himself to answer, Snapdragon's blast singes into him. "Grrrgh! Raindance! What did I tell you about telling jokes during a fight!" He pops out a pair of laser cannons from his undercarriage and returns fire! Compile "...." and he blinks as he is hit by the Pew pew pew, "What do you call that? A weapon?" he asks as he pulls out a sword as he gets closer to the tape thing, "And your not a tape, your a reject formt he salvage yard, which is where you will be going back too," he states as he swings his weapon at the tape thing. "Reject from a salvage yard? What? Make sense!" bleeps Raindance, as the brave little tape rocks side to side violently from the attack. "What does that even MEAN? You're just saying words you know, there's no underlying wit. Unlike with THIS!" From the nozzle in his front, Raindance unleashes a deadly sonic barrage, constructed from the hits of David Hassellhoff. The words "Oooh, lets go to JA-MA-CA!" echo lethally through the air towards Compile! The big and bulky Snapdragon is quicker than he looks, and he ducks underneath the incoming return fire from Springer. He rises from his crouch, and takes aim at Springer again. He flicks his gyro-gun into full power, and fires off a blast of energy designed to destabilize the green copter. Compile is hit by the hoff, which is an odd name of an attack, but he has his own style, "Your junk," he states simply. "No wonder your having issue, your lasercore is split between two bodies, and the processing power must be giving you more than a fair share of unstability," he says to him as he flies for the craft and as he does, his body splits apart and here comes the Rock..ets. "My JUNK?" emits Raindance in indignation as he is struck, spinning round slightly. "That is DISGUSTING, wash your mouth out know, Soundwave would be ashamed of you!" The dynamic jet spins into the air, before bobbing back towards Compile, a crackling blue and yellow beam arcing out from his nose nozzle. "Have a taste of THIS then, you Decepti-jerk!" Raindance misses Compile with his Stun Beam attack. Compile looks as he dodges with grace, and he looks, "Oh come on, you wanna dance?" he asks as he moves up close and his optics glow as a laser fires out of them, and right for the crafts' engines, "Hey, at least we are the original brand," he says to him. "Dance? Dance!" Raindance's lights glow red with indignation. "I have no legs, you sicko, how do you expect me to dance!" He rocks backwards as the laser hits him, and with a burst of anger, shoots forwards, one of his large chrome missiles streaking out from his underside, on a collision course with Compile! Compile is hit by the missile and goes backwards and than he races forward and lands on the tape, "Well, you cna still move," he states witha smirk as his arms shift and reconfigure, "Shake your groove thing, shake your groove thing..." he says as the arms which are now pile-drives begin to pound on the tape as he, Compile rides him. Green Cyber-Copter pulls up to avoid the energy. "Hey...that looked familiar. Gyro-blast?" He asks with professional interest. Then he tilts forward again and heads straight for Snapdragon, at the last second leaning forward even more...at first it looks like he's going to crash straight into Snapdragon, but at the last second he transforms into robot mode and tries to tackle the large Decepticon. Raindance dodges out of the way of Compile, his mini canopy flashing in anger. "Again, you make NO sense!" he emits in anger. "You are a bizarre little man, I will put nice flowers on yoru grave and then shoot them so they burn and set your head on fire!" He soars into the air, dashing down to blast off another volley of laser fire Compile mutters as his special attack missed, "I so need to get upgrades," he mutters to himself as he flies around and heads for the safe distance, since he is at his COU-END right now, and down to 14 endurance. He sends a message over to snapdragon as he flies for cover, retreating. "I'll get you next time," he simply says. "And I'll get you this time!" bleeps Raindance, as he hovers behind Compile, aiming his internal sonic devices, and blasting out a mix of all the really terrible 80s kids cartoon themes. And there are a LOT of them Raindance strikes Compile with SHOE PEOPLE THEME. Snapdragon's brow crunches with frustration as the green 'copter evades his stunning gyro blast. "That's none of your business, Springer." Snapdragon replies, meeting Springer's flying tackle with a roundhouse punch from one heavy, filthy fist. Springer goes flying back with a loud CLANG! He stands up and looks at the fist-shaped dent on his chest. "Been eating your cyber-veggies, Decepticreep?" He looks again, then runs his finger over the dent and then peers at the finger. "Um...eating with your bare hands, looks like." Springer reaches behind his back and produces a large, FFVII-esque sword. Raindance turns as Snapdragon continues to attack Springer. "Watch out Springer!" he emits. "That Decepticon is really dirty and horrible! But don't worry, I will stop him!" He flies boldly towards the Decepticon, using his retardly high courage to its full potential, a crackling stun ray shooting out from his nosecone, attempting to zap the Decepticon with it "I don't need any veggies to put dents in green scrap like YOU!" Snapdragon retorts, and despite the presence of Springer's sword, Snapdragon is not deterred. Snadragon's huge fists reel back as he prepares to knock Springer's block off, before he is shot in the back by Raindance's stun ray, and the large Decepticon topples to the ground. He then proceeds to twitch spasmatically like a japanese kid watching super samurai seisure robots. Springer flicks a small control on the handle of his sword, causing an energy field to shimmer into existence around it. Whenever he moves it now, the sword makes a hissing, crackling noise familiar to any sci-fi fan. Springer swings it around a few times as he closes in, then launches a massive blow at Snapdragon's midsection! Raindance hovers up behind Snapdragon's head, his second chrome missile blinking in the sun. "You know Snapdragon, you would be better if your head ran off and had its own little adventures. Just sayin'!" With that, he blasts his missile off, hoping to spear the big guy in the bonnet The energy sword slices through Snapdragon's thick armor, leaving a jagged, blackened gash in it's wake. The oily grease that coats Snapdragon's body seeps into the gash and simmers, resulting in a thick black smoke. The blow has waken the beast, and Snapdragon quickly lunges to his feet. He slaps aside the small missile from the small Autobot like an annoying fly, and then transforms into his big, nasty, and very dirty dinosaur mode. Steam rises from his toothy maw as he leers at Springer, and the dinosaur wastes no time before pounching on Springer and biting at the autobot's chest. Little warning lights flash on Raindance's side as he bobs alongside the carnage. "Sorry chiefy!" he bleeps at Springer. "The heart is willing but well, I'm all out of energon. Nada, nothing, not even a drop. Not even an electronic sausage. I'll cheer you on from the sidelines though!" He floats away a bit. "Go Springer!" Springer gets flattened by the huge dinosaur. Springer manages to jam his own forearm into Snapdragon's mouth, keeping it away from his body. The jaws practically sever his arm. "AGH! 'm sure...that'll make...all the difference...Raindance!" He starts to bash at Snapdragon's head with the hilt of his sword, trying to get the Dinocon to release his other arm. Snapdragon's thickly armoured hide is covered in dirty grease, and Springer's hilt glances and slides off a particularily slick patch, and it barely even registers as a hit to Snapdragon. His optics glare down at the pinned Springer. "I love the taste of Autobot in the morning." Snapdragon mutters, black spittle and little bits of green armor flying out of his jaws. "It tastes like... VICTORY!" He growls, and chomps down at Springer with another furious bite. Springer thrashes around frantically, managing to evade the bite this time. Noting that his blow seemed to have no affect against the huge Decepticon, he tries to get a little more sneaky. He jabs the hilt at Snapdragon one more time, but this time he aims directly for one of the glowing optics! Snapdragon leaps aside, swinging his relativly small dinohead away from the incoming hilt. Because nobody likes being poked in the eye, especially not 100 ton angry robot disosaurs. Snapdragon glares down at the prone Autobot, and swings his huge and heavy tail to send Springer flying. Springer is sent flying...then bouncing...and finally skidding to a stop on the cold frozen earth. Springer rolls painfully backwards, ending up on his feet with his rifle out. He carefully flips the power setting to 'maximum' before unleashing a long barrage of energy bolts at Snapdragon. The bulky dinosaur breaks into a heavy, foot-stomping trot to follow his quarry. With a leap, he jumps over the incoming bolts of energy, and lands with a resounding thud, while globs of grease plop down to the ground. He growls, and opens his jaws wide. "You're taking too long to die, Autobot! RAR! I need to try a little HARDER!" He rumbles, and lashes out with one of his large, horribly dirty, clawed feet. Springer is sent flying again, and this time when he lands, he can't help supress a pained 'OOF!'. "Geez...I didn't realize you were on such a tight...unhh...schedule. You shouldn've told me you were in such a hurry!" Still on his back on the ground, he transforms into his rarely used racecar mode and peels out, heading straight at Snapdragon! Snapdragon barely budges even as the green futuristic car slams into him, although a few of his armor plates show some denting and buckling. He glares at the car, and the beastial features look amused, behind the smoldering hate he has for the Autobot. Snapdragon pounces on Springer again. "Yes, and now I'm late... For LUNCH!" He roars, and unleashes his full fury on Springer, attacking with his viscious claws, gaping maw full of sword-like teeth ,and even his puny little t-rex arms. Green Cyber-Car is battered viciously by the assault. His canopy shatters, tires burst, any armor that was actually undamaged is now ruptured and dented horrendously. Springer transforms into robot mode, pieces still falling off, and immediately clasps his injured forearm against his even more badly injured midsection. His other hand raises his sword wearily. "I gotta hand it to ya, Snapdragon," he coughs out a few cogs. "You make Blitzwing and Astrotrain look like chumps!" He pauses and says in an aside, "Octane already looked like a chump." Then he thumbs a control on the sword again - but instead of a simple energy field, it emits a powerful, blindingly bright flash! Snapdragon chomps his jaws contently on a few scraps of Springer's chassis, mixing in with his vile black spit. "And I make /you/ look like lunchmeat. Come here, I'm still hungry!" He roars, and closes in on Springer again, until he is blinded by the light. He roars furiously, and begins thrashing around madly, trying to find Springer and eat him. Rar! Springer thumbs the control on his sword a few more times, but it only emits a few half-hearted sparks, the mechanism whining. "Must've overloaded it..." He starts to walk around behind Snapdragon, speaking loudly and carefully. "All right you overgrown rust-heap...I'll give you something to chew on!" Springer tries to put as much bravado into the words as he can. But then, while Snapdragon is still blinded, he flexes his legs and leaps in one of his patented jumps. One second he's standing behind Snapdragon, the next he's suddenly flying through the air far away, in an arc that takes him directly to the Hovercraft parked about a mile away... Snapdragon continues to stomp around, roaring through his viscious dinoteeth, until he walks smack into a wall. Snapdragon wanders through the crumpled brick and mortar, and takes a nap in one of the abandoned missile silos.